There are times in our lives when we get "stuck" in a relationship that is ultimately destructive to the psyche. There are many ways to speculate why. We are seeking connection, compassion; comfort to ease some sort of discomfort in our lives.
The problem with this is that when we are in a vulnerable emotional state of being, we tend to attract those who are just as unhappy in their own lives and have their own issues. So, as women, we either lose ourselves in an effort to "fix" someone else, because we are convinced they WILL change, or we rely on intimate relationships to "save" us from ourselves.
Well, I say fuck all that. We have to fight the fight. We have to depend on ourselves and know that we innately have the power to heal ourselves as much as it feels like sheer hell. It hurts, it's lonely and no doubt a lot of time we feel like throwing in the towel. But we have to learn how to walk ourselves through the hell and the confusion of life. If it's one thing I continuously seem to realize, and unfortunately I still keep trying to escape the reality, is that, in the end, we have to fight and no one else is ever going to be able to do that for us.
So, don't cling to something that isn't really worth it. Don't allow someone to make you feel badly about yourself for ANY reason. We do that enough to ourselves. Be strong and self-sufficient and in doing so, not only will you totally feel like you just rule, but you will let others know that you are not going to give all you have left in your reserves to someone who has nothing to offer you. Someone I recently met said something to me that made sense. He said, "if you are going to give yourself to someone else, don't give everything to a loser, make sure he's worth it".
So to all you leaches out there, I'm done. I take full responsibility in letting you take everything I had in terms of hope, but in the end, I don't need you or want you, any of you, anymore. I'm ready to "turn the page", thus eliminating giving you all of me. I have a lot to give to someone, but I'm on my quest to realize that I deserve respect and truth; and to all of the men I have tried to lose myself in, fix or cling onto for dear life because I was so scared to face myself-not one of you have been worth all of my investment. I'm learning my lesson from you, and for that I am grateful. I wish you the best in your pursuit to be real men and step up to the plate and treat us women like a treasure, because that's what we deserve.
I hate to say it, but fuck off, and to all the ladies out there who are feeling what I'm saying, stay strong and kick ass.
jlo
1 comment:
yeah. all that!
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